10:08 PM
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
seein is believing..
pple, humans like us believe it is always true..
coz we accept wad we see...
we noe it's true n real when we see it happening..
but wad bout tings unseen.. words unspoken feelins unsaid..
are their value ani lesser?
if so does the same ting apply for the exaMple below..
when sum1 is cryin, it means he/she is sad.
but when sum1 is nt cryin it means he/she is nt sad and can take it?
like mani others, i wish to believe at seein is believing.. but at times i doubt it so much tat i forgot the meanin of the phrase seein is believing..
pple, pls can do mi tis favour..
try to understand more bout the pple ard u..
every little bit counts..
a little care n concern will just do the trick.
i am tryin to ... coz i noe how impt the little bit can help mi.
if we humans dun help each other who will?
dun end up hurtin urself humans.
dun be foolish, in the entire world...
we onli haf each other.. so be together..
stop all those white lies, cheatin n jerkin...
ladies n gentleman pls just treat each other like ladies n gentleman shud..
times have change.. $ is impt.. but does tat mean tat wif $ u can live forever?
12:09 PM
Thursday, August 25, 2005
for the 1st time in my life... i dun feel my last finger belong to mi at all...
for the 1st time in my life, i had stitches on my hand...
i didn't noe y tis happen.. but i fall down while takin food while holdin a bowl when the other bowl is on the table. den when i slip n fell, the bowl fell too... next ting i noe my last finger was bleedin...
til the pt my captain sae u gt so much blood go donate la. dun waste it.
while others came to see 'show'...
actually is coz they care bout mi.. they told mi is alright.
the pain will be over...
den all i noe when the unfornate happen was pple took my hand to wash it and put the yellow yellow stuff on it and its smell sux.. but still too pain to even care much about the smell...
i didnt even dare look at wad they were doin i onli noe everytime the yellow stuff touch the wound it is pain pain n more pain.. i tried to tell myself it's ok.. but i cant help but drop tears...
n keep saein the word pain ... tong !!
den my manager ask mi to go and see a doctor.. coz it's quite a deep cut..
luckily i went.. coz doc sae haiz.. den check for wound for ani infection or glass..
den sae haf to stitch at least 3 times ..
i was already pain n cryin again when he check.. coz the cleanin of the wound is veri pain...
after the stitch it was nt tat PAIN animore.... finally.. den took the medication when i reach home last nite at bout 1pm...
wad a dae huh? den my family also sway ... dun wish to elaborate bout tat though...
since i am typin wif 9 fingers now ...
see i so gd leh just to keep u pple updated...
[noe wad to do on my cuming bdae? i hint u pple already hor.. lol i am mad wor.. ]
11:40 AM
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
wad do i reali tink bout the pple ARD MI?
to sae the truth..
i dunno who to trust animore...
sumtimes it seems tat there is no1 ard mi to trust.
there is no1 tat cares for mi like before..
still i am tat cheerful melody..
i try to type in happie tings..
i was gifen tis blog to type happie tings..
su yee.. sorrie i nv.. i noe all my entries all sad de..
but i guess.. happie tings i can always sae them out in my life..
nt sad tings though, no1 expects mi to be sad i guess.. no point saein them out..
to others it's onli excuses..
i dunno if i shud be happie wif my life now.
i luff at the smallest ting..
coz nth makes mi 'happie' again..
i try to pretend life was life before and move on..
it's so different
i just cant bring myself to call them to go out animore..
i am sorrie. i fail to bring loti back to life..
i guess u pple noe what i am tokin bout..
i may appears nth matters animore. but in fact everyting matters. just i given up..
no more control over tings.
pple change... i cant help but see the sadness in my eyes..
in my behaviour..
disappointment.....
til the point.. i feel like dying..
but i cant.. it shows i am weak..
i am already weak.. i cant afford to be weaker.. and when i die.. i hope its a natural death...
11:46 PM
Friday, August 05, 2005
wad the fuck haf i done..
how could i be so stupid.. worse den an idiot..
guess no1 will be as stupid as mi..
i dunno wad am i tinkin sia.. so stupid..
the tot of wad happen still bring mi to tears..
tryin to control it.. worse is.. i cry too much. eye pain leg pain..
u see when i run out of the restaurant i sprain my leg..
wad the fuck. how worse can my dae be huh?
haiz. every1 makes mistakes but there are sum mistakes tat can't be made..
imagine u were mi how will u feel?
will u ever understand? haiz.. fuckin angry wif myself la
every1 console mi.. but i cant forgive myself u see..
haiz..
9:42 PM
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
wad is bdae to u?
hmmm some believe it's the dae u were born,
the dae ur mum suffers,
the dae u start breathing,
the dae u open ur eyes,
ur 1st cry, ur 1st step towards life...
therefore it's impt... a date to be remembered...
but honestly, i ever gt so bz in my life...
tat i forgot my bdae..
until my mum told mi bout it..
tat was during my pri sch years, kinda stress over my studies and CCA...
ever since den... i kinda nv reali care bout my bdae..
but i bother to rmb it.. since it's common knowledge to noe it..
if nt it's embarrassin when others ask n u dunno, still have to check it out..
for mi.. i kinda feel tat it's just another dae..
an excuse for pple to sabo u.
an excuse for pple to sae how much they mean to u.. since nt every1 sae it everydae ...
a dae... tat pple reali see u for who u are...
a dae u count how old u are and wad u haf done so far..
i rather everydae be my bdae..
nt in the sense of the presents, but how gd pple treat u
if they are gd to u, they will be gd to u no matter wad and regardless of wad dae it is todae..
last time when i was young i used to believe tat bdae is the dae u noe who reali care bout u and ur fuckin life..
but i realise... tat the pple who are there for u might nt be able to share ur happiness wif u.. but they will be there to share ur sadness. whereas sum will disappear into thin air...
maybe partly coz i haf a difficult life this year... so i realise this...
i am takin this chance to clear the qns... bout how am i going to celebrate my bdae...
and wad i wan on my bdae.. for the ting i wan most is nt bought wif $ ...
i dun wish for aniting except the care and concern when i need it, to move on wif life.
i am weak i admit ... but even the strongest tree will fall....
-fuckinlife-
10:04 AM
actually i also dunno wad to sae bout my fuckin life..
it just sucks.. wif work study eat slp shit..
maybe the word bored is the word rather den fuckin life...
aniway, i been fine... just bored of life and its value?
sum believe tat wealth is everyting and i can't deny tat it kinda determines ur standard of living...
even though, high standard of living doesn't mean high quality life..
in simple terms - rich pple might nt be happie wif their life too...
coz there is too much tings on their mind... besides living life to the fullest, they tink bout the best way to enjoy life... but i must sae nt all are like tat .. or at least i hope so...
while some, might nt be having a high standard of living but a high quality of life..
in simple terms - able to live dae by dae wif the minimum required.. they are able to enjoy life to the fullest.. pple might sae they dun plan their life, but they do. just the minimum planning required for living a dae to dae basis? their life is more happening i guess...
but tat again does nt applies to all...
mi.. i am contented wif my standard of living .. quality la..
able to live dae by dae...
but kinda lack entertainment.. guess i am nt the onli 1 here tat tinks this way too huh..
another ting...
the issue bout make-up sumtimes piss mi off..
if u love make up.. den u beta nt read tis.. hahaz..
coz i believe make up is just like puttin on a mask.. i do tat onli...
when i feel like puttin on a mask...
kinda afraid of wad others might tink of how i reali look like...
but y shud u feel tat way? is puttin on make up reali makes u self-confident..
i guess it's onli confident.. nt self-confident...
self-confident shud come from within?
i dunno... but dun get offended k.. jus my personal opinion pple.
dun cum scoldin mi...
just sharing how i feel..
i reali hope i could be more observant in life.. den bout my life or the life tat i noe..
i wish to noe more bout other tings in life tat i yet to noe... yet to feel..
sumtimes it's just sad to noe there are certain tings tat are just there.. can't change..
human nature. yea tat's the word..
my life .. i thank god for everyting.. i might complain alot.. but i noe i am blessed enuff in my own way too... heez =)
haiz. i miss the stars.. when will i see u again..
-fuckinboringlife-