6:19 AM
Sunday, April 29, 2007
dreams....
i always haf dreams about being in sakura, being with my frenz and him.. sumtimes they seems so weird tat i no longer understand them. for dreams make in sakura, i will always feel a sense of lose when i wake up.. coz it is true tat i will nv be able to be back den... and those frenz... seems to mi lost.. the way i lost the position in sakura.
as for my frenz .. it jus makes mi feel tat i shud treasure them more...
coz afterall, how mani frenz can 1 noe in a lifetime? maybe strangers haf walk past mi mani times, but i dunno..
him, i jus miss him ba?
but isnt it weird why humans dream? and sum dreams felt so real...
tat sumtimes it is hard to diff. real life and dreams rite?
bringin mi to another point...
a few years back den, i was in loved with the cyber space.. irc, msn....
and den, it was even harder to diff bw real life and cyber space...
it also make mi feel tat sumtimes tokin to pple u dunno, make u feel beta at the point in time.. but now, i kinda lost touch there... i am back to the real world..
can sae gd and bad, coz gd is i am ready to face the world...
bad is i maybe not as happie as then, coz creating a unrealistic world kinda relieve stress? and a beta attitude towards life?
but maybe i am not losing touch to the cyber space. bcoz i am actually still bloggin, tokin to my blogger account, piglayou.. haha...
it has reali been nice typin all tat i feel. since i haf so much to sae, pple might get fan about it...
even though there is no response from u, but i noe u understand rite? haha
am i mad? nope. i jus am behaving the way pple feel when they write to the diary... sumplace to clear the mind. to record things, and get it over and done with, while sumtimes it is to feel beta...
if u noe wad i mean.. hee =)
5:56 AM
hmmm recently watched the 200 pounds beauty with my frenz... lydia and her fren...
hmm the show is nice... the ger has a veri nice voice. and u can clearly feel her emotions. is not as if she is acting if u noe wad i mean, sum pple act reali u can feel they are acting for the sake of acting onli lor...
at the start she was a fat ger, but her voice was recognised...
even though she was fat, 200 pounds u noe, her voice is still veri nice. she has a father, a gd frenz. and she is in love with her manager. little did she noe tat her manager onli treat her gd for her voice... since she was a back stage singer...
without her the "singer" is actually nth...
yet she enjoys her job... she loves singing.. her passion for singing can be felt when u see her singing backstage and tryin to dance...
when she found out the truth about wad the manager felt about her, she decided to change and lead a new life...
and she turned into a total beauty...
wad happened afterwards can more or less be expected, she went to auditions to be the singer for the "singer" and gt in as a new singer...
but bcoz of tat she has to hide her identity and be sum1 she isnt...
to her father, her frenz it isnt fair. as for the manager, she yearns for her love.. bt noein she has gone thru plastic surgery, it isnt easy for ani guy to accept her...
including the manager, and being a smart manager he is, he found out the truth...
and avoided her.
but little did he noe, wad she did was for him, for his love.
to haf her haf his attention, as simple as tat...
but now for tat, she has been cold to her father and her frenz, til the point she cant make it, and since she has been exposed to the truth by the recording company, she decided to let the fans noe about it...
they accepted her... and i cant help but sae, her voice... is too great for ani1 to reject her... as a singer, and her helplessness, her honesty..
yet... to mi the show shows another point...
tat looks are impt.
if she is still tat fat lady, she wun be recognise for her voice..
she will forever be tat backstage ger...
even if the truth is out, do u tink pple will accept her? ani recording company will take her? mi being fat once, now still not veri thin, will love her voice regardless of how she looks...
12:34 AM
Monday, April 23, 2007
mamee the monster noodle snack... ever eaten it? it was my fav food in pRI sch...
i will onli eat the noodle and not the seasoning, and it used to come with the mamee monster sticker.. haha =)
pri sch snacks... now when i eat it, it reminds mi of the gd old days... fun and laughter, where exams seems to be the biggest prob. now seems so small... haha
BEE BEE snack also.. last time always eat de. and i used to eat it with my cousin. the onli cousin which i am closer to.. but ever since i moved hse, we were not so close animore... onli see each other say, 1 yr once or twice? for mothers dae and CNY?
now besides laogong, i seldom meet my frenz le... is ting ting & ah yee ba i tink.. coz every1 is bz wif life, but i am taking a brk fr life. or maybe u shud sae i am escaping life?
regardless of the reason, i am happy, tat is wad tat matters rite?
stay happy and cheerful even if the future seems uncertain...
3:04 AM
Thursday, April 19, 2007
now no work, den nobody is free to go out with mi, sch de sch, attachment de attachment... haiz!!!!
so sianz, den gd job also not easy to find, so meaning i veri boring la... haha =)
aniway i also dunno y now feel tat to be a frenz, is hard lor... haiz... and to haf a frenz 4ever is even harder... coz we are all bz in our own life ma. haha
i miss him alot sia... he havent sms or call mi the entire dae le. bz wif NDP. haiz...sianz!!!
ytd dunno y miss being in MJR alot.. haha and those frenz i haf. it was jus so happy there, even though onli 1 yr, but i still rmb them la...dunno they still rmb mi not? gd frenz sumtimes is easier said den done. but i noe, nv contACt but still care means wad... coz there is 1 person, called jinyi tt i nv contact.. but i still care bout him alot. hope he have found a beta gf. and a beta frenz. if u ever see this, please contact mi k? haiz.
8:54 AM
Friday, April 13, 2007
haiz, sumtimes reali dun understand y frenzship can hurt so much... no wonder pple sae frenz...
Frenship
Usually
Contain
Kindness
no kindness den die le la... haha.. but i guess every1 will change, cannot blame ani1 onli can blame myself ... coz i didnt change...
as the saein goes, nth is permanent except changes...
to me, nth is permanent except my memories, unless 1 dae i lose my memory la.. if i ever lose my memory, den maybe i will noe who is my true frenz and who is not my true frenz le..
though a person without memory like veri sad, but sumtimes no memory also gd, can start anew easily. tat is y when u haf nth u haf everyting, when u haf everyting, u actually haf nth at all...
6:41 AM
Thursday, April 05, 2007
my new job is gone, dun tink i will suit the job so i quit after 1 dae, hee
den now no job le need to go job hunting le...
sometimes i tink frenship is much more complicated den r/s. coz best frenz is not like ex like tat can dun contact de, can sae brk de, frenz no matter wad will still be frenz, best fren worse... haiz no matter how she treat mi she still is my best frenx.. dun tink she will noe ba...
bt bcoz of tat i will treasure the frenz ard mi more... i ask a frenx if she has ever had a best frenzx, like sis like tat den in the end not so close. she sae ya, maybe these so called sis are not sis ... so will drift apart. haiz
i dunno la, but to mi sis is sis , frenx is frens, no matter how long nv meet, hw they treat mi,frenship cant be forgotten so easily... maybe coz i emotional ba...
i seems to lose interest in makin new frenzx...
is weird how 1 can change so much...
until now i still hope i haf news of jinyi.. where are u.. cant u give me a call?
dun u even care bout ur old frenz animore? i'm sorrie.. for hurting u.
forgive mi will u? haiz.
i reali hope b4 i die, i can see u again.
jus to make sure u haf move on..
y mus 1 lose sumting den noe hw to treasure it?
haiz.. but i was young den, wad do i noe? we were both young.. can i see u again...
haiz.. singapore is small, but to find sum1 is so hard..
can ani1 help mi to find jinyi?
9:38 PM
Sunday, April 01, 2007
hee i got the job le. hee though it is abit too rush, i jus quit from the job. den gt new job le. hee... den is like i took today off from them, tml den start work... TIRED ah.... haiz...
den tat time before i quit i went drinkin with my frenz, drink 1 e 33 1 baron 1 calsberg... haha... den we nv eat dinner, jus eat the chips onli.. but 1 gd ting is i gt 6 doramon magnet... hee so cute..
but then next day sick like dunno wad la. also dunno why got sore throat and fever.
but ok le la.. tink coz of the chips den nv drink enuff water, jus alcohol onli, tat's y...
how i missed them ~
haiz, laogong in army i so sianz, how i wish he will ord soon... this coming june then 1 yr onli. haiz, and laogong bdae coming soon le... HURRAY !!!
i miss u laogong. times with u always seems to pass so fast. while w/o u time seems to be crawling........