7:49 AM
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
haha been wondering how to be a famous blogger. and i noe i will nv be 1... coz it seems to be famous blogger are not as emotional as mi. they are more of pretty chio bu tat will tok about certain things. while i jus like to blog about things i cant sae... like reali sae to every1 i noe. even though it makes no harm saein.. so hmmm to be a famous blogger is veri veri hard for mi... so i guess if 1 dae i am a famous blogger i can win 4d already la... but still tinkin about it not bad sia.. like u noe sumtimes i blog and i kinda wonder who reali reads all this tat i type. hmmm besides some of my frenz of coz... i noe u are here.. lol
aniway, famous blogger attractive to mi ... veri...
but den again, this blog is not even set up nor maintain by mi.. is by my gd frenz, su yee la... lol i cannot make it sia. but at least i reali do blog ok.
aniway tokin about famous blogger... i saw this quote in this blog( ice angel.... http://www.the-miracle-season.blogspot.com )tat i happen to come across thru cher blog link..
If u are everything to everybody, u are nth to urself
i reali like this... haha
7:31 AM
what is trust built on? years of being together or wad?
due to some reasons i am not able to meet some deadline. quite guilty for it... though i noe is not my fault nor ani1 fault. but it is built on trust. they trust mi... and i hope they continue to trust mi.
9:16 AM
Saturday, May 24, 2008
okok before u start to scold y am i tokin about lizards... pls read ok.. lol i noe i am not a famous blogger, but i sincerely believe there is somepple readin rite?i hope so.. lol
ok, this lizard topic started when i was watchin a show...
u noe lizard when threatened, will run away leaving their tail rite? onli some will jus haf the let mi die attitude ba... i am not saein i will threaten lizard la. but to tok about it.. hmmm is like veri true, like our rite hand and left hand theory lo. or bread or love... sure choose bread de ma rite? (which is mi.. lol )
i am just learnin to be stronger.. it seems tat the society is not easy to be doubt with... i noe i am always protected by my dear, my frenz and family. and i noe i am still a crybaby at times.. or u wanna sae most of the times, wadeva la.. but i will learn ok... i will learn with my tears de..they sae some pple learn it the hard way, maybe i learn it the teary way... lol
and now tat i am so free, i jus wanna do the things i wan, like go gentin la, go play la, go k la before i work my life lo... coz work gt time, but den yet again my next job i reali hope i can piang, not for the company, but to earn more money for myself... and my future...
tokin about my future... i nv tot about my future until i noe dear.. haha stupid rite mi? but as u all noe, i dun haf a poly cert... den i will tink alot la.. dun wish to sae... haiz... but after noein him, den i tink no matter who also deserve a future as long as u work it out ur way....
den the most impt thing i wanna blog about.. is tat!!!!
i am veri veri disturbed by my dream.... what the F ~... ( dun ask mi wad is F ~ .... ) is like this dream i dunno la... i cant forget... maybe i will forget i jus dun wan to forget ba... haiz dunno la.. there are unforgettable dreams besides this la...
but is jus diff
5:14 AM
Friday, May 23, 2008
as much as i noe it is true.... haiz... jus like when i quit my job.. every1 first reaction... money? sometimes is if u earn less u spend less.... earn more u spend more de...
dun worrie i will get a job. but for now i jus wanna rest... enjoy life as it is. how much time do i reali haf before i haf to work all my life for ... money. i reali hope this time i will find a job i will be more than willing to work not for the value of money, but the job itself. hard as it is. i will try. if not working is jus plain working... and it will be all ur life. not wise huh?
i guess being happy includes alot of factors... too mani in fact.
7:30 PM
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
u noe sometimes i reali tink i am the cause of trouble u noe... is like i jus ask a veri simple qns... so simple yet in the end things become worse.... veri jialat. wad the ... i feel so like i shouldnt be here la... haiz... i noe pple sae i emotional... but i seen worse la. happy become like crazy sad den like dunno wad de sad, angry den scold til siao... wad the....
den i was tinkin how to become a famous blogger,and some1 was telling mi to not be so emotional in my blog. but to mi, blog is the onli place that i can relaz lo.. and den be myself, sae wad i wan la..if not wad, keep to myself 4ever, and den tok to myself... i already so open le.tok cry and wadeva.. u pple tink i too emotional.. den u noe u seen worse. u reali can faint de lo... haiz, i dunno la maybe i in no position to comment on others. but who den is in the postion to comment on mi?
have u ever been a vegetarian? have u ever who had parents who dun understand u.dun trust u. and ever had frenz who u noe can tok and sae so much like they noe but they actually dun noe aniting. every1 body tink differently, so i wil sae the word subjective is a gd comment.
like being a vegetarian is nt as ez as wad u all tink it is. esp a person like mi, lack of self-confident. so mani a times i find myself hateful also la...
is like if pple noe i vegetarian i scared they will sae what the... so ma fan ... eat mus go to place she can eat. den dun be frenz with mi.. or if they noe i vegetarian den forget, last time, i will sae is ok... pple are 4getful, i still tink like tat. but sumtimes, it jus occurs to mi, no1 cares ... or they jus wanna treat mi like i am normal... what the rite, y mus my brain kill so mani brain cells?
f care rite. haiz....
and every1 gt their own responsibilty in life... mum, dad, son,daughter and so on. so i also wanna be a gd daughter,gd sister... gd frenz ah. but u tink gt use ah, be gd daugher. sumhow money makes the world go round... gd frenz veri hard to be, unless u can be veri understanding.... veri sensitive....
is like sum pple dun do their things properly, den keep saein others lo... i dunno la.. full of what the now.. which i dun wanna sae, but keep typing now...
what the f....
haiz, is like i dunno la, whatever is done, is done. pple make the effort to help u, appreciate it... is like i am learning also u noe. veri few pple are like sain now, true kindness, helping without any returns... is like nowadaes pple help, they wan sumthing in return, be it a thanks, be it a smile fr u... is all sumthing u noe...
this is going to be a long long entry... haha so i beta stop... i promise i will gif more nonemotional blog post sumtime ok... for a change for my dear readers, whoever out there.... haha thanks...
is being able to sae wad i wan, tat attracts mi to bloggin.. as simple as tat...
7:30 PM
u noe sometimes i reali tink i am the cause of trouble u noe... is like i jus ask a veri simple qns... so simple yet in the end things become worse.... veri jialat. wad the ... i feel so like i shouldnt be here la... haiz... i noe pple sae i emotional... but i seen worse la. happy become like crazy sad den like dunno wad de sad, angry den scold til siao... wad the....
den i was tinkin how to become a famous blogger,and some1 was telling mi to not be so emotional in my blog. but to mi, blog is the onli place that i can relaz lo.. and den be myself, sae wad i wan la..if not wad, keep to myself 4ever, and den tok to myself... i already so open le.tok cry and wadeva.. u pple tink i too emotional.. den u noe u seen worse. u reali can faint de lo... haiz, i dunno la maybe i in no position to comment on others. but who den is in the postion to comment on mi?
have u ever been a vegetarian? have u ever who had parents who dun understand u.dun trust u. and ever had frenz who u noe can tok and sae so much like they noe but they actually dun noe aniting. every1 body tink differently, so i wil sae the word subjective is a gd comment.
like being a vegetarian is nt as ez as wad u all tink it is. esp a person like mi, lack of self-confident. so mani a times i find myself hateful also la...
is like if pple noe i vegetarian i scared they will sae what the... so ma fan ... eat mus go to place she can eat. den dun be frenz with mi.. or if they noe i vegetarian den forget, last time, i will sae is ok... pple are 4getful, i still tink like tat. but sumtimes, it jus occurs to mi, no1 cares ... or they jus wanna treat mi like i am normal... what the rite, y mus my brain kill so mani brain cells?
f care rite. haiz....
and every1 gt their own responsibilty in life... mum, dad, son,daughter and so on. so i also wanna be a gd daughter,gd sister... gd frenz ah. but u tink gt use ah, be gd daugher. sumhow money makes the world go round... gd frenz veri hard to be, unless u can be veri understanding.... veri sensitive....
is like sum pple dun do their things properly, den keep saein others lo... i dunno la.. full of what the now.. which i dun wanna sae, but keep typing now...
what the f....
haiz, is like i dunno la, whatever is done, is done. pple make the effort to help u, appreciate it... is like i am learning also u noe. veri few pple are like sain now, true kindness, helping without any returns... is like nowadaes pple help, they wan sumthing in return, be it a thanks, be it a smile fr u... is all sumthing u noe...
this is going to be a long long entry... haha so i beta stop... i promise i will gif more nonemotional blog post sumtime ok... for a change for my dear readers, whoever out there.... haha thanks...
is being able to sae wad i wan, tat attracts mi to bloggin.. as simple as tat...
7:30 PM
ever had try to help some1, but instead of appreciating the help, the things you do become useless. and u cant complain, what you will get is just scoldings. plain useless is wad i noe. whatever i do, just cant help... as much as i try to help... and the worst is they tink they understand. they tink they noes how it all feels like. tryin to help, but den in the end, they just tink is useless....
i jus gt too much time to do useless things... so much so that whatever i do will not be appreciated but taken for granted... yet they tink that that is nothing wrong. is all perfectly alright. i wish the day they understands this and totally experience what i feel... til the dae no1 can commend. they tink they so smart rite. always pretending to know how it feels like without even thinking. and still comment on others. no rite to sae others dunno how to tink, when u actually dunno how to tink also. selfish fellow....
i jus merely wanted to help... onli help... yet what i get, there is a sayings goes, the more u help, the worst it gets... and yet they still tink no la... is not like tat, is about the matter of time... what the.... f f f f f f
dun ever pretend u understand... stop!!!!!!!!!
8:18 PM
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
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1:47 AM
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Look at me
I will never pass for a perfect bride
Or a perfect daughter
can it be
I'm not meant to play this part?
Now I see
That if I were truly
To be myself
I would break my fam'ly's heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight
Back at me?
Why is my reflection someone
I don't know?
Somehow I cannot hide
Who I am
Though I've tried
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
a veri nice song.. tat recently i am always listenin to now... haha... like so meaningful...
10:30 PM
Friday, May 16, 2008
sometimes i reali feel like no1 understand how i feel.. haiz. but luckily onli sometimes.... haha..
recently watching the show dou niu yao bu yao. i just cannot forget the words tat hebe sae.... chinese dunno how to sae la.. but the meaning is about the same...
like as we grow older, we have more times of facing loneliness, and is during these times that we learn to grow up, to be more independent, more brave towards life and everything else... so damn true..
being alone, sucks. i dun like. but i noe is this times tat i learn to grow up. to be more matured...
9:32 PM
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
is funni how boring life can get. and how tiring life can get... haha
aniway i jus bored la. feel like typin... haha can tell rite?
i guess i will get a part time job soon... den i will feel happier... gt things to do den i wun tink so much. like i am not needed. true every1 is occupied. like when i work also like tat. where gt time sia. gt time also veri limited. where gt so free. hai...
i guess i jus dun miss workin, i jus miss being kept occupied. haha.
bz life... makes u feel useful wad. you yong de ren. haha....
7:56 AM
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
how does the human heart works... u ask mi??
i wun sae evil i wun sae kind. i will sae is the envt. is the pple u noe.
reali.... the kindness person also haf their evil side. sadly, is the envt tat changes pple behaviour.
we tend to put a barrier to our inmost heart for fear of brkin it. jus like we always locked up our precious things for fear of losing it. the barrier is always covered in anger,fear,adnormal behaviour. if u noe wad i mean. sumtimes we lose ourself. how to get back?>
i reali dunno...
i am lost. so lost. sumtimes i noe i am a sadistic, so i cover myself with smiles, cheerful image to be happy. but i noe is not true. deepdown i feel so insecure, so lonely...
even with my frenz ard, even with him.. i dunno y i feel so insecure...like nth can make mi feel safe. maybe is becoz i gt hurt b4...by frenz, by him by so mani things. i hate myself like this. y cant i just be mi, the mi that dunno anithing. even if pple hurt mi, i will just smile thru it.
i hate this feelin.... insecure.... so insecure tat i dun trust ani1. y....
y...y....y......
7:23 PM
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
i quit already.as of todae... i noe there are sum qns tat might be ask.
1)wad am i going to do now tat i am jobless
ans:gd qns... i dunno. haha jokin la. i am helpin to set up a small business for my boyfrenz... tat will keep mi busy for a while. and i reali hope i can help. it will be a success rite? wish mi good luck.
2)wad will happen to my pay.
ans:eh... sumthings cannot be bought with money. i reali hope to get things started 1st. and as for wad will happen to mi in the mths to come. i shall use my savings. and ... spend less on things i dun reali need lo. since this is the path i decided pls help mi. by not lettin mi spend unnessarily. den i shud be able to last for 2 to 3mths...
and of qns. haha animore qns jus call mi. i am nt a star so dun tink ani1 will care... lol jokin, jus wanna let u guys noe mi finally noe wad i wan. nv try nv noe. i gt nth to lose. except maybe time and money. but succcess will be worth it. since i am still young i gt alot of time. money i dun haf a lot but i believe i can always earn it back. pls help mi.. haha
the business will be about com repairs and sellin games lo. so help mi intro mi pple la den i will be able to haf more $. haha help mi prove tat my decision is a smart 1.... i dun tink i will ever be more happier den now...
6:48 AM
Sunday, May 04, 2008
excited about meetin my frenz on sat. hee will be at a chalet. i reali like to go to chalet. tokin bout chalet i plan to open a chalet in june too. coz he ord in june too also wad. and this sun is mothers dae also. hee den my family going to eat togethr lo. i like to eat nice vegetarian food. haha ...
and meet su yee on sat to buy alot of things. i bought clothes i nv tot i will buy. if wanna noe wad. see mi wear it in june for the lime flea market. i will keep u pple updated as much as possible. i am so excited. like june will change my life. haha...
sumtimes i tink simple is not easy also. like when u grow older things always get complicated and cunning. like wad i heard from my frenz. haiz
to mi i am simple if i wanna meet u i meet u. if i like u i reali like u. if not fuck off la. i dun care lo. and yet sumtimes is hard to find simple things to like to do already. in this world we live in. pple always feel simple is to simple. complicated is beta. but to mi as long as the pple i care about is ard mi. i will be happy. but now we seldom haf time to meet. haiz.