I wonder if it's becoz i have a bad mouth, or just that i learnt to face the facts...that the things i said eventually came true...

enuff about this fren issue. choice made, understood and whatever ~

been thinking about the past. when i was still young, just being in my religion make mi happy... i was on stage before... then, maybe it was only then and when i had every1 attention i could be more confidence. i know i should have more self-confidence instead of attention-seeking. but then it was only on that stage that make mi confidence. even my kindergarden memories ( IN CC ) of dancing was wonderful... but then there was this 1 incident that some1 nv contacted me that there was a change in the date...for the practice, and i came back home disappointed... and maybe it was then i lost confidence...

and i also knew somewhere in my heart... that i am not tat impt, so i ask myself y bother to go on stage anymore... i know my presence isn't impt. maybe it was from then on that i had this thinking... that no matter what it doesnt really matter what i do, for there will always be some1/ something to replace mi.......
and until now i was right...

if u want to slap me in the face... i can tell u there is no need to.. for it's a fact isnt it. we all do have times when we tink that we feel so small, that there is no need for us to even be living rite?

and what make mi feel better are also wad make mi sad...
my dear frenz... loti, this name is not only a nickname, it's also the name pple close to my heart call me... it's the name i react faster than my own name itself...
bcoz of these pple, loti feel alive. yet is also these pple that sumtimes make mi feel dead. i know no1 is perfect, even myself... so i dun blame ani1. i just hope i have strength to believe the pple ard me. and not cause unnecessary hurt to others thru the words of my bad mouth.

i want to smile and pretend it's all ok. as long as every1 is happy. i will be happy rite? i want to smile thru my every day, bcoz as long as i still smile i will stay happy. i want to smile at the pple who had hurt me, bcoz as long as i still smile, i will prove to u that the hurt u gave me make mi grow to be a better person...