7:54 AM
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Could u have hate and love yourself at the same time?
for this instant i did feel the 2 opp strong emotions...
u see i did this facebook applications of love quote, i always loved them, or maybe they were emo enuff...
the veri recent 1 is this....
Melody just got a love quote
"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes, it is better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together."
then i wrote this...
Melody Ng glass are fragile, what is broken can never be the same again. i thought i could change that.. i was being naive... i thought love have the power to do everything as long as i was loved... i was being stupid. i thought as long as i love then things will work out. i was being silly...
i tried to do the impossible. i know i was being naive, stupid and silly at 1 go, so i hate myself. yet at the same time i love myself, for i have loved and have no regrets... yes it hurts like hell, to think that everything goes back to zero, but i loved... i didnt fear losing for once. i didnt fear being taken for granted for once... i just wanted to give it my best shot for the person that i think was worth it... that deserve it...
end of the day, my dream didnt come true, but i did all i could.
i failed, in the game but i will accept it nevertheless...
for i know i did my best... i will always rmb everything good...
1 day the pain will be gone, i will only rmb all the good memories...
let everything be gone with the wind...
8:00 PM
Sunday, November 22, 2009
My 21st Nov!!!
I had a great day/night, tiring but fun la. haha for those who have facebook will know!!! haha i am going to say it again, so i rmb this day!
On 21NOV I spend my day/night, 12pm to be ready to go AFA at suntec city with cher, ah yee and her sis. for photos please go here,
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=138716&id=665456926&l=8149ec03ce,
we took alot of pics and had lunch together at the food court there that took me ages to buy the roti prata, when i came back, all finishing their chicken rice soon. yes they all bought chicken rice to eat!!! I also learn that those that are under 12ages go in free lo. and at that age of 12, last time will we even know what's AFA? haha...
i have to reach lydia's chalet at 7pm for her birthday, so went off from suntec about 6pm... when we reach pasir ris it was raining so decided to take a cab in... and we had our dinner there. for photos, please see here,
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=138719&id=665456926&l=ff09395d31
Then, at 8.30pm we had to go to bedok to meet ying ying so that we can reach lakeside mrt by 10pm for the 2nd link WALK on 22Nov. thus, i didnt wait for lydia to cut the cake. Sorry lydia, i had to go earlier, but still wish u had lots of fun... aniway, we meet ying on time and reach on time too. the bus took us to TUAS and reaching there we packed goodies bags thruout the night, and then we talked/lie/slp/seat on the road for the rest of the night til about 6am... wonder why we gt so much to talk? haha with cherlyn and ying ying plus me already alot of girl talk le, but with another guy we saw there even more things to talk abt...
so we talked and soon it's 22Nov already. lol and when 6am comes, we started gathering and slowly make our way to our stations. At about 7am, I was happily at the bridge taking pics while waiting... the views there were perfect la and not everyday u get to stand in the centre of the road, or just on the road taking pics la. at the bridge somemore!on the other side, bikers were cheering for me, alone there ma and they even said good morning. lol, for more photos,
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=138731&id=665456926&l=c43d350ad4
Finally 8am, people started walking over...they were fast lo. some run their way thruout the 4km! and they asked if i had enuff water, need umbella? lol... Event ended about 10am..and we had a bus to take us back to the main point, luckily la, didnt really feel like walking.... thruout the process of the day, cher was with me =) but she went off after this event to prepare to move to her new home, which i am beri excited about!! lol
So me and Ying ying reached TAMP at about 12pm for lunch at s11 =) then meet up with Meng Zi at her house at abt 1pm to prepare for the flea market. it was fun and she intro me 1 of her clothes, and i bought it home!! hee =)both of us went off earlier since we were tired. and i didnt take pics too, tired. but i guess photos will be with ting ting, she took many of my unglam shots... then it was home sweet home for us. i reach home about 7pm and had my dinner =)
i bath and did some packing before i finally go to my bed at 9pm. i missed my bed. and somehw missed seating/lying on the roads too....
7:05 AM
Saturday, November 14, 2009
i always believe that what comes round goes round. and i guess it was once again proven to me... what it actually means. and what doesnt kills u makes u stronger...
and 1 more thing, 1 person no matter how small, how ugly, how stupid, how selfish how bad or good a person is... eventually change the way i look at things...
change the way i was and now am. but i am glad for everything i was given, i take the good and the bad, no1 is perfect. i learn to accept the true hard facts, just like what u see in a show... nth is forever and forever is too far for me to sae nor say where it exactly is...
1 thing i know for sure is i no longer fear losing anything, when u lose it all, u only start to gain more things....
i used to think that i have alot of things i want to buy... i want to have, but now i feel diff. is like expensive things and items, i don't need them coz i only wanted some1 to dote on me. i love my minnie mouse soft toy...
9:45 PM
Friday, November 06, 2009
hǎi dí sīniàn miányán bù jué
海 的 思念 绵延 不 绝
The feeling of missing someone of the ocean never ends
zhōngyú hé tiān zài dìpíngxiàn jiāo huì
终于 和 天 在 地平线 交 会
It finally meets up with the sky at the horizon
ài rúguǒ zǒu dé gòu yuǎn
爱 如果 走 得 够 远
If our love has been continuing long enough
yīnggāi yě huì gēn xìngfú xiāng jiàn
应该 也 会 跟 幸福 相 见
we shall see happiness too
chéngnuò chángcháng hěn xiàng húdié
承诺 常常 很 像 蝴蝶
The promises often seem like butterflies
měilì dì fēi pánxuán ránhòu bújiàn
美丽 的 飞 盘旋 然后 不见
It is flying beautifully, and then vanished after circling
dàn wǒ xiāngxìn nǐ gěi wǒde shìyán
但 我 相信 你 给 我的 誓言
But I believe the promises you gave me
jiǔxiàng yīdìng huì lài dì chūntiān
就像 一定 会 来 的 春天
Will like spring that always comes
wǒ shǐzhōng dài zhe nǐ ài dì wēixiào
我 始终 带 着 你 爱 的 微笑
I’m always bringing the smile of your love with me
yī lù shàng xúnzhǎo wǒ yíshī dì měihǎo
一 路 上 寻找 我 遗失 的 美好
I’ve searching for the beauty that I’ve lost along the way
bù xiǎoxīn dāng lèi huá guo zuǐ jiǎo
不 小心 当 泪 滑 过 嘴 角
When tears have accidentally fallen down the corner of the mouth
jiù yòng nǐ wò guò dì shǒu mǒ diào
就 用 你 握 过 的 手 抹 掉
I’ll wipe it off using my hand which you’ve held before
zài duō dì fēngjǐng yě cóng bú tíngkào
再 多 的 风景 也 从 不 停靠
I never stop my journey even if there are more sceneries
zhī yī xīn xúnzhǎo wǒ yíshī dì měihǎo
只 一 心 寻找 我 遗失 的 美好
I look only for the beauty that I’ve lost
yǒude rén shuō bú qīng nǎli hǎo
有的 人 说 不 清 哪里 好
Some people can’t tell how good it is
dàn jiùshì shéi dōu tìdài bùliǎo
但 就是 谁 都 替代 不了
But no one can substitute it
zài zuì kāishǐ dì nà yī miǎo yǒuxiē shì zǎoyǐ jīng zhùdìng yāo dào lǎo
在 最 开始 的 那 一 秒 有些 事 早已 经 注定 要 到 老
In beginning, the very first second some things are meant to go on forever
suīrán mìngyùn ài kāiwánxiào zhēnxīn huì hé zhēnxīn yùdào
虽然 命运 爱 开玩笑 真心 会 和 真心 遇到
Although fate loves play jokes on us the true heart will meet up with true hear
8:55 PM
Thursday, November 05, 2009
when love comes, it comes unexpected, it just comes to u... before u realise it u noe u are in love with that special some1. before u know u care about some1 more than u ever care about any1. if he is happy, i am happy...
but when loves fades, it is also unexpected, it jus comes to u that it is no longer the same. before u realise it, u noe that even if u care about him, it maynt be the same animore.
i guess that is wad it always it, when u need to be together, u need 2 person to agree on this, but when it comes to going off, jus 1 person consent is enuff to change everything..
i am not the best gal nor frenz to ani1, but i tried my best to be the best for the pple i noe... i will smile when it's over, bcoz i know i tried my best, bcoz i know whatever happens, i had loved with my heart. there will be no regrets...
my future will be diff, my life will be diff, i may hurt, i may cry, all this will come expected but what i cant expect is how lost it will be without some1 that i care so much, some1 that i nv tot will gif up on mi. we may argue, we may even sae harsh words to each other, but i nv tot i am not some1 to live with.there is nth i can do, but to accept whatever that may comes my way. come my way, make mi a stronger girl i used to be,make mi a girl that has loved and lost but will make the best out of it. bcoz life is as such, i cant force some1 to stay for mi, i cant force my emotions, neither can i stop loving some1 so dear to mi. i can only choose to believe that whatever happens is for the best. that i will be a stronger girl...
COME WHAT MAY, i just want to tell u i love u. i just want to say for all the times we had been together, thru the good times and the bad times, thx for being there, i am not the best gal to be with, but had u by my side for as long as possible le.
i will understand, i will not cry... i will keep the best memories in my heart...
i will gif u the freedom if u had decided, i will wish u find some1 better than i ever had been to u, i will gif myself freedom, i will gif myself a chance to live a life, even if that will hurt like hell, i will not cry, i will not cry, i will not cry, i will gif it my best to live my life...
COME WHAT MAY
1:16 AM
Monday, November 02, 2009
i'm bored. so here i am ranting again!!! lol
recently feel that i am a bad person. haiz... trying to be good ...
it isn't easy living on earth. i told ah yee on her blog,
life sucks just like a straw,
jus like some drinks, u maynot like them ...
but slowly, u will find tat some drinks are nice. and u found ur fav. just like life... it's not the best, but still worth living, and i guess we dun really have much of a choice unless u wish to disappoint ur parents?
i am missing BBQ, chalets, gatherings, steamboats, movies, swimming at 1 go.. so many things i wanna do. sept hangover? sept was so much fun i forget hw normally my life goes.. i am not like some pple who are beri bz, yet i am not exactly free, in his shop...
the good old days, is long gone yet i still think if i can go back in time, where life is simple. my library, my books, my frenz... just tat, no such things as popularity, make-up or even love... coz then we are all together without the element love, frenz were closer... more time to go out, more time to have fun. but yet again being adults change things, i am only ranting, haiz. life truely does sucks rite?
i like reading my books, they bring mi out of my imperfect world...
been going to the library beri often and love my passion fruit tea in the cafe, nt that i dun like the brownie but it's not warm... it used to be served warm then plus the cold ice-cream it's WOW ~ now, ok only. but i like the tea. and it seems like i am putting more sugar ( luckily brown ) then i used to.. maybe it's bcoz life's bitter that i want to be sweeten or bcoz the tea just becoming more bitter la. lol
the old days was not perfect, it still isnt now, u noe what makes the world of difference?
is the innocent us, that we can nv go back to, is the pure heart, the beauty inside ( not the beauty outside ).... is just the way things always seems happy then...
is the way i like to rmb it... i dun wan to forget my past. i dun wan to forget hw ugly i used to be, not that i am pretty now, but jus nt too bad too i guess. how much it hurts .. to be isolated, to be extra. to be just UGLY! but then, i made real frenz... and frenz for life. so it was the good thing out of it.
life is good when i feel real. UGLY but real. UGLY but fun, UGLY but happy...
not spending much, yet happy. that is the life i wan...
u nv noe what the pple closest to ur heart will do to u, they may do it without knowing, but still it will hurt isn't it?
and yet it is those hurt that makes us stronger, my all time fav quote fr cher, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going?
it's so true. is like wadeva bad comes out way is to make us stronger. wadeva good comes our way is to make us happy, make us feel tat life is worth living, at least at the moment, den rmb it... and "rmb" them when u are down...................